Darlings! We had promised you a wonderful photo journal of the Poo’s grand adventure with Granny on her 80th birthday marathon – but sadly we’ve been stymied. Yes, Granny has let us down. Not that we can entirely blame her.

Remember when, not so very long ago, we were marvelling at how incredible it was that the Poo had been circumnavigating the world in various handbags with nary a blimp on airport scanners? Well, we spoke too soon. At the very beginning of her recent trip poor old Granny was hauled aside at LAX and searched rather too thoroughly after the chaps on the x-ray machine honed in on a curiously shaped item in her hand luggage. They immediately carried out a thorough search of her entire baggage and frisked the poor old chook something savage.

Our enduring disappointment is that, when the security chappie finally liberated the Poo from his little travel sack and – presenting it to her in an outstretched palm – demanded  “what is this ma’am?”, she didn’t have the presence of mind to ask  if she could take a photograph (of him/the Poo/the situation.) “Blog gold” I berated her afterwards, on the phone.

But anyhoo, given that there was no sense of humour in the encounter, she henceforth banished the poor darling to her suitcase and rarely let him back into the light. (She and her travelling companions, to be perfectly honest, hadn’t been wildly enthusiastic about taking him along in the first place, so it didn’t take all that much to discourage them. It’s probably an age thing.)

Granny did give him a quick run in the safety of Phil’s…

…(above) Golden Haired Turd – our pet name for the little bro – meets wannabe Intrepid Traveller.

And, once, in Sicily Granny smuggled him onto a balcony in Taormina when nobody was looking…

So you could say, all in all,  that the Poo had a pretty crap trip.

[Granny has assured us that her friend Nancy did take the odd snap here and there – but we’re still awaiting the proofs… n(Ed)]

Ah, doesn’t matter. The good news is that the Gang’s determined to make it up to him – we’re packing him for Burma next week.

He’s sure to see some action.